Category Archives: Dog

Go walk the dog…

So, I’m sitting here minding my business when I get a text message from a random number I didn’t recognize. Here’s the exchange:

Them: “Go walk Trevor please.”

Me: “No. He can walk himself.”

Them: “Then bring me your I-pad.”

Me: “If you effin’ want it, come and get it…and you’d better bring some help.”

Okay, so Amanda wouldn’t let me send the last part. She told me to stop messing with that poor person. Instead, it went as follows:

Me: “Haha…I’m messing with you. You have the wrong number. Don’t be mad at your kid.”

Them: “LMAO Just got his phone today and I put the wrong number. Great joke. You got me.”

My German Shepherd climbs a fence…just to get to me.

I was sitting on the swing in the backyard yesterday researching reasons why chickens lose their feathers. I’d been there for about ten minutes when, all of a sudden, I felt something sniffing my leg. I looked down and saw that it was Kristof, who was supposed to be confined to the fenced-in area. Befuddled, I turned to see if anyone had let him out, but both gates were secure.

I put him back in the fenced enclosure and returned to the swing to see how he escaped, but he just sat there smiling at me. I figured he wouldn’t do anything while I was watching, so I aimed my phone in his direction and turned my head to face the chicken coops. Satisfied I couldn’t see him, he quickly made his escape and ended up right beside me again.

Here’s how he did it:

American Canine Sniper

While the rest of the world’s population is training their dogs to sit and fetch, I’m teaching mine to be a sniper like his daddy. In order to be effective as a sniper and to stay safe, you have to remain unseen. Thus, the first thing I’m teaching my American Canine Sniper is to be invisible. See for yourself:

Next, I’ll teach him how to shoot my sniper rifle…

Thanks for reading!

BJ Bourg is the author of JAMES 516 (Amber Quill Press, 2014), THE SEVENTH TAKING (Amber Quill Press, 2015), and HOLLOW CRIB (Five Star-Gale-Cengage, 2016).
© 2015 BJ Bourg